Rollercoaster Ride

It's all just been a roller coaster ride
Going around, up and down... mainly down though

I fail to see when the rollercoaster will go up.
Im screaming and screaming, the scared feeling I have in my stomach is just growing, or is it gone

It's like im just freefalling now.

When will this rollercoaster ride stop going down, but up?
Everytime I think that it is finally going up. all it is, is just a small bump on the way down.

The same reason I first tried back in early high school,
It's just recurring.
I tell noone, I bottle it up.
I think just continuous tears will let everything out. It doesnt.

Shouldn't this be a lesson to me?
Tell someone, tell that person everything... from the beginning.
But im scared.
Scared noone will understand?
Scared that maybe someone will just tell me everything is stupid?

I just want to be free.
"Chasing Liberty"
The reason for the name of the blog
I seem to keep chasing but never finding it

I know there has to be another way to find freedom.
Everytime 'death' is the only thing that comes in mind
But a promise is a promise.
The only thing keeping me is a promise.

I've witnessed the implications first hand,
It's not the right way,

My only other option was patience
Be patient for another solution.
It's been like 7 years.

I guess the main point of this blog post was to show the real me.
The real reason why I made this blog was to blog about everything that is just blocking my road, my road to liberty. This blog was suppose to help me find the other solution, the one that will make me find liberty, stop chasing it,but to embrace it.

I hope I am strong enough to last longer,
All the screams on a roller coaster come to an end right?

tc,
Marjorie C, You know me